Monday, July 09, 2007

Bummer - In Need Of Consistent, Dependable Climbing Partner

Didn't get out again this weekend. Kind of bummed about that. I had a couple of different options but both bailed. Even worse, only one had the decency to actually notify me that climbing was going to be out. The other just, well, never even called. Sigh.

I used to have a great climbing partner in Edinburgh. While Mat was the one who brought me into the climbing world, so to speak, it was Kevin who suggested the idea of climbing and became a loyal partner for about a year-and-a-half. Naturally, however, we all move on. Kevin met his future wife and I moved back home to the United States. Mat, unfortunately, died in France last summer on a climbing trip.

Still, I remember those days fondly because, not only was I having the time of my life in wonderful Edinburgh, I also knew that I was going to go climbing two to three days per week - guaranteed. Since I've moved home, however, things have not quite worked out as I would have hoped. Granted, it took me time to establish myself (personally, not climbing-wise) before I started climbing again. But while I lived in New Hampshire (my first real residence after school), the partners I had were sporadic at best, and that was likely because I wasn't as active as I could have been (low-paying job, high stress living conditions, etc).

When I moved to Massachusetts I had more opportunities to meet people, or so I thought. I started up my climbing group (see links) and it started with me and another girl ("Russia") who joined shortly after we met at the gym one day. It was actually kind of nice because I thought I had scored a partner finally, but she got sick for several months and didn't see her again until we after she had found new partners on her own (maybe it's me? *shrugs*). Still, at this point my group was growing, albeit slowly, and I was putting together regular gym and outdoor sessions that, while they weren't always dependable, were greater in frequency than I had climbed since my time in Scotland.

This pattern has pretty much continued until the present time. Each time I've wanted to go climbing, I've posted on my site and waited for people to respond. Generally speaking, this has worked well. I do have my regular partners who do respond on a regular basis, and sometimes they post if they are interested in going climbing and want a partner. However, 90% of the time it is me who initiates the climbing, and sometimes, despite an affirmative response, I get stiffed.

That's what happened to me this weekend. To be fair, one of the people who I was going to climb with was courteous enough to let me know in advance that he wasn't going to make it. But on both Saturday and Sunday I was somewhat expecting a call to go climbing either or both afternoons, and received no notification whatsoever. I know nothing was set in stone, but what was I supposed to do? I was told that I could go possibly go climbing both afternoons. Does that mean I should keep that time open? Or does it mean nothing and that I should have just planned to do something otherwise despite the possibility of going? It seems to me that the second option shows a lack of faith, so I waited. I learned my lesson.

I'm not normally this quick to judge, but I've been in a vulnerable position of late and am in need of some stability. I don't know, but I've always been the guy who gives and gives and gives and gives just because I'm the one who's always seeking instead of being sought. It would be nice to not have to worry about whether or not I can trust people for once. I'm a trusting person by nature, but when that trust goes away, it tends to go away forever. I'm in a bad state, and need someone I can trust; someone I can rely on to the point of not having to worry. We say we're going climbing, and we go. And if we don't, that gets communicated respectfully. Do you know anyone like that?

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